It’s awkward when women confuse friendly banter (originating from an innocent night out) with some sort of runic intention that forces me to transcend from a man who is enjoying his environment, to a man purged of his moxie, laden with the indifference of wanting to continue the casualness of the connection beyond the moment by asking for a phone number I will never use. Do not confuse elitism with efficiency. Asking someone for their contact information is a nice gesture and an easy way to end a conversation, but depending on the person, it in no way guarantees an extension of the conversation to a future date and time. Here are the reasons I don’t call you:
The short version:
I don’t like you. I am just not that into you.
The long version:
There are quite a few reasons I may ask for your contact information and don’t call. The most common reasons are:
Get Rid of Her
Sometimes when I am out with friends, and friends of friends, I am stuck talking with someone who fucks up my chi. I usually ask this person for their contact information in order to end the conversation and move on to someone who I am more attracted to within the group. Nothing better states “Goodbye you horrible person,” (without actually saying “Goodbye you horrible person”) than stating “It was great meeting you, let me get your number.” This is a safe way for me to avoid being labeled as an asshole within a friend circle so I can peruse other talent who would better suit my style… And it goes without saying, I never call horrible people.
Out with the Boys
There is nothing better, less superficial, more real, and more fun than going out with a group of close guy friends. It is inevitable that during the night one of us, if not all of us, will meet a girl or group of girls that seem to be having their own single gender night of debauchery. Quite often, there is at least one of us, usually me, who always seems to exchange contact information with a girl from the other group. I view this exchange of information as a link between my group of guys and her group of girls, nothing more. Once the night is over and my group has dispersed, the link is broken. Every once in a while I will entertain a call or text to a girl I meet in this type of situation, but normally, since the meeting was group on group, there is no point to calling.
When we grow up, find a job or career, and dig our heels in what we call living life, it is hard to meet someone outside your work, your gym, or whatever you may do regularly which allows you to consistently come in contact with someone you are interested in. It was easy for me to meet a girl, get her contact information and start what appeared to be a relationship back in high school and college because our schedules were almost identical. After college and in the midst of life, it is hard for me to contact someone who I know won’t fit into my busy schedule. My life and goals come first and if someone can’t parallel their schedule with mine to prevent inconsistencies in my work ethic, then she is not worth calling.
Don’t want to lead you on
I think of myself as a nice guy; I know what I want, I don’t like wasting time and I am honest. With that said (whether you believe it or not) I sometimes meet awesome girls who I am not attracted to, but who may be attracted to me. These are girls who I would like to keep as friends, but since their intentions are different than mine, I don’t call them so they won’t get the wrong impression of the relationship. I don’t like wasting my time in relationships, so I try not to wastes other people’s time as well. If it seems like a girl is taking my request for her contact information the wrong way, then I am probably not going to risk ever contacting her. It is easier to sever the relationship at its initial stage, than down the road.
There is someone better
I love meeting people when I go out and I find myself attracted to many types of women, but at the end of the night, no matter how many women I meet and exchanged contact information with, there is always someone who is better than the rest. Whether I am currently seeing someone or I just met someone at a bar, everyone is compared to everyone else. My reasoning for calling you or not calling you falls directly into how you compare to everyone else in my life. If you are the best, chances are I will call. If you’re not the best, chances are I am not going to waste my time pursuing you.
Efficiency of my life isn’t a quest for mantic control over the opposite sex. We should always limit our parergon’s when they turn our life’s goals into unobtainable substrates. The basic theme behind all the reasons why I don’t call you is “Wasting time.” Life is too short to waste time with people who I don’t see a solid friendship or relationship with. You shouldn’t be concerned with why I don’t call you. The only thing that should matter is what to make of the situation when I do call. I am not shy. I don’t play games. I know what I want. If I do call you, it means that I am attracted to you and that you are set above the rest of the women I didn’t call. It means that there was something I saw in our initial meeting that is worth understanding. It means that my time won’t be wasted with you. It means I like you and I am into you. It means it’s time to call…