Everyone knows someone in their life who is fucked up beyond repair. All we can do is wish that one day this person will normalize by divine intervention and someday offer society positive reparations for their destructive path. Afflatus aside, it is our job to present a more stable rendition of life. Unfortunately, but not surprisingly, our suggestions and examples are sometimes skewed or misinterpreted.

If you are a person who is on drugs, out of work, depressed, goalless, and into all the negatives life has to offer and you have a friend circle comprised of individuals who are healthy, career driven, ambitious, charitable and are in stable relationships, the last virtue you should try to emulate is the latter; seeking a relationship. The problem this creates is that the chances of someone positive agreeing to a relationship with someone destructive is very slim. So what does this person do? They find someone just as fucked up as they are.

All normal relationships have problems. Ironically, most relationships between two fucked up people have very few problems. The reason for this is that what the norm deem to be arguable or intolerable, the fucked up deem minuscule. In fact, just surviving the day for some of these people is the only hurdle in their relationship. And although they may seem like a perfect match in so many different ways, such a relationship is even more destructive than if these individuals tackled life alone. Similarity only works with positive attributes. Similarity associated with negative attributes creates enabling, which makes a person even more destructive then before. Relationships reinforce who we are. If a person is addicted to drugs and this addiction is destroying their life and they meet a significant other with the same addiction, then both people will use love and the concept of relationship to perpetuate their problem.

Many relationships end with “We are just wrong for each other,” but not too many relationships begin this way. As an adult, fucked up or not, you can always recognize other people’s vices even though your own may go unacknowledged. Before anyone seeks a relationship, they must first get their life in order and although sharing commonality with someone allows us to feel more human and apart of society, sharing in the “Wrong” aspects of life is detrimental.  Whether being wrong for someone is noticed at the exact end, the beginning or learned gradually through the relationship, realizing a person is “Wrong” doesn’t take an oracle to interpret that it is probably time to get out of the relationship or cease from starting one altogether. If you go into a relationship knowing that a person is “Wrong” for you, then ultimately the relationship’s failure is on you. Love can be fickle and there are many cases where two rights, end up being terribly wrong.  Unfortunately for our fucked up friends, two wrongs will always end up being wrong, if not worse….right?