…The mind lingers. Staring at delusional plains, not related to the scene at hand. The mind lingers. Contemplating again and again, the purpose of allowing subjugation to occur by someone’s hand. The mind lingers. Maybe this time will be different, maybe this time we can withstand. The mind lingers. No, it’s the same old story on demand. My mind lingers…

There are people in this world with no care but their own. There is no changing them, there is no waiting for them to snap out of the phase or trend or binge or depression. They are just toxic. They have the ability to ruin, to actually destroy the dispositions of the people around them, no matter the place, activity, or time of day. Total destruction.

These people are found in every walk of life, every age, race, religion, gender, they are family members, strangers, labeled friends and acquaintances, these people are everywhere around us. And we choose to surround ourselves by them. Why?

Excuse family and forced relationships. Exclude drugs and alcoholism. Those are a bit harder to control. However, everyone has a friend or friends they dread hanging out with because no matter the occasion, it’s all about them. It could be your birthday, wedding, or even your funeral, and it is ALL ABOUT THEM. If they aren’t happy, the experiences laid at your feet are dismal. And if they start off happy, you find yourself bending over, crawling on your hands and knees to make sure they remain happy. Why?

Toxicity has nothing to do with who a person is, but rather how that person affects people around them. On the outside, a toxic person can have the characteristics of a very loyal and honest friend, emulating quite an array of positive virtues to earn a place in people’s lives. But that loyalty and virtue is exchanged for time and indignation. That’s what always brings us back to these people; 95% of the time they exhibit positive vibes and characteristics in a constant setting, earning a place in your life. The other 5%, usually in settings uncomfortable to said person, are spent gambling with the level of toxicity emitted at whatever occasion the person is invited.

So why?

Well the first reason why we would ever put up with someone like this is because ‘we’ are good people. Because when everyone else has abandoned said person due to their adverse reaction with toxicity, you see the good despite the ruined dinners, and parties, and events and outings. The second reason is hope. Hope that one day 95% of the person will be 100%. It is that hope which continually propels this type of relationship.

So now what?

It all depends on the level of toxicity the friend in question exhibits and the amount of patience you have. No matter how loyal a friend is 95% of the time, if they decide to become a different person 5% it isn’t worth it. You have to live your life, toxic free. You shouldn’t have to wonder what person is showing up to what event. Toxic people are close enough to us to get invited to special events like weddings and birthdays, but they should never be close enough for it to be accepted for them to ruin such events. If these relationships are not addressed immediately, it will continue forever until the toxicity levels are fatal to the relationship, whereby creating a rift which is ultimately unsalvageable. These people are your responsibility when you go out. People will judge you based on encounters with your toxic counterparts because people will wonder why you allow such toxicity in your life. Making excuses for these people only goes so far until people start to consider you toxic and a liability when considering to invite you out. There are only two ways out of this situation; either try to clean up and address the toxicity, or ultimately get rid of it. Don’t linger.