Male and female genders have many differences.
One difference, which stands out the most in reference to dating, is the type of condition a potential ‘significant other’ maybe in when the relationship rituals begin.
For men, it is quite simple (Complete Package).
The prettiest, smartest, most athletic, most compatible, most talented best at sex and blowjobs significant other they can find. Period. That is it. There is actually nothing more to our search criteria when we are looking for a relationship.
For women, it is quite complex (Damaged Box).
Trapped in an emotional matrix of what if’s, what then’s, what now’s and what the fuck’s, some women, not all, find themselves looking for absolute imperfection. Whether it is the uncontrollable bad boy, the forever bachelor, the addict of [Insert Substance Here], the perpetual loser (but he is cute), or the violent asshole women love to TRY to turn something which is shit, into their pot of gold.
I don’t get it. You don’t get it. But, they see some sort of bastardized and distorted ‘love’, which draws them back over and over again.
You might have seen some of these instances on various talk shows and wondered, why would this woman stay with this shit excuse for a man? Who in their right mind would put up with such inconsistent negativity in their lives? The answer you are looking for is she is probably a fixer.
Fixers make a long-term investment into another human being. They believe that no matter how fucked up the person is, with the fixers help, they can one day be successful, loving, kind, and perfect to take home to meet the family. So instead of finding an already packaged ‘perfect’ man, they seek to show the world their maternal rehabilitation skills on another adult. The only caveat to this dedicated debauchery is the expectation that once said person is “fixed” or on a positive pathway to being fixed, they will then commit their lives to the female who fixed them.
Wrong.
Let me explain something to all the female fixers reading this, if by chance you do fix someone and transform them from being a total douchebag to someone worth something in society, the last person they will choose is you. All that time and investment, all the tears and strife, all the sacrifice thrown away as your reborn man walks away with some perfectly package girl who isn’t you.
Because.
The person who really needs ‘fixin’ is you. Even the modern day Frankenstein’s monster you have just created can see it. All those days of picking out clothes and dressing him, guiding him to jobs and careers you want to see him in, and putting up with his misogyny have made you more of his mother he had never had than his current or future significant other.
Relationships, even shitty ones, are built on equality. If you agree to date someone who is a piece of shit, and you make an investment to turn that piece of shit in to a pot of gold, don’t be surprised if that pot of gold finds another pot of gold. And unfortunately you will never be the pot of gold because you will always be associated with the shit.
The condition you find your significant other is extremely important. Some call it fate, others call it timing, but here we will call it condition. If you have to ‘change’ aspects of you man’s life, which will possibly turn him into a different man altogether, than maybe you should find a man who fits your end game. Sure, it’s fun rebuilding cars and seeing them restored. And it maybe fun to sell said car and start a new project, but eventually it will get old. And more importantly you will get old. Don’t spend your life fixing other people’s packages; find a man who is your perfect package presently.