Do you like science, but hate thinking? Do you want to fall in love, but always fall for the wrong person over and over? If this describes you, then I have a solution (method) for you!  Science is the study of systematized knowledge of everything that is real. Love is the creation (or belief) in everything that is unreal and abstract. There are many people who dedicate their lives to the ‘Love of Science’ but there has been only one account of the ‘Science of Love’ and that account starts here, brilliantly modified into ONE… AWESOME… VERBAL… FLOWCHART… of truth.


Socialtific Method


Question: Do you want a relationship? If yes, proceed to the next step. If no, then continue to renew your World of Warcraft subscription, you introverted, lazy shit.

Background Research: First rule to research, experience everyone. In order to pinpoint someone you would like to be in a relationship with, you must voluntarily introduce ‘errors’ to propagate desired results. What you like may be determined by the deduction of what you don’t like and reinforce what you already know. Do not throw yourself at the first subject that you think suits you, you have been down that road before and this goes against the formula. This brings me to the second rule of research, never go full stalker. You are here to experience and observe everyone, so you can figure out what you want, not drool all over yourself like some animal, when you see the first piece of meat that turns you on.

Once you have collected enough data, you can now proceed to the next step.

Formulate a Hypothesis: You have the research. You know what you like and don’t like. Now put it together. I want a [Insert Gender Here] who is [Insert Main Attribute] and [Insert Secondary Attribute] who works in [Insert Profession Here] and [Insert Hobbies Here] in his/her spare time, who is [GREAT IN BED]. It is that simple. Never wavier from your initial hypothesis until it is proven wrong. Which leads us into our next step…

Experiment: At this point we have figured out that we want a relationship. We have done our research in the form of experiencing people around us and determining what we like and don’t like. We have taken that research and formulated a hypothesis of what we think we want. Now, let’s see if what we think we want is actually what we really want…

It’s time to starting dating and loving and experiencing people who fit your hypothesis. Drop your walls. Put it all out there. Remove your guard. In order for the test to be accurate, you must give all of yourself to see how it reacts with what you think will make you happy and whole. If you don’t do this, then you can’t proceed to the next step…

Is it Working?: If it isn’t working, troubleshoot the relationship. Figure out why your hypothesis isn’t measuring up to your expectations. Carefully check all steps and setup of the experiment phase. If it is working, proceed to the next step!

Analyze and make conclusions: It works! Now let’s assess why. Are the reasons of why the relationship works, the same reasons outlined in your hypothesis?

Results (Aligned or not with hypothesis): If your results do not align with your hypothesis, use this research to formulate a new hypothesis and retry the Socialtific Method. If your results do align with your original hypothesis, then the traits you find important to you have now become a theory.

Communicate Results: Get married or something…


For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction…I do!