Deep down we all love drama, well let me clarify, we love other peoples drama. However, there is something better than other peoples drama and that is being put right in the middle, unintentionally, into other peoples Myspace drama. That is right; yours truly was attacked verbally on Myspace!


Let me start by setting the scene. I will withhold innocent names, but as the title tells, the antagonist is a girl we call Sherri. Sherri is a girl not far from the stereotypical middle age stripper; dull personality, slow wit, always complaining, always fighting and always bitching. As I always do, I look for the good in people and I tried my hardest to see the good in her. Don’t get too hasty, I did find some great virtues in this girl, but most of the time they were overshadowed by her bad attitude.


            Now, Sherri dates one of my really good friends. This friend and I played football  together, have similar personalities and I can honestly say I love him not only as a friend, but as a brother. I am definitely not one to comment or judge other peoples relationships, so I just assume my friend and Sherri had something we all didn’t see. When we all went out, I tried my hardest to get along with her and her friends, which I thought I did very well and we actually had some very fun times.


            Recently, my friend broke up with Sherri for the 3rd and supposedly last time. As a man who once found himself in and out of love, I know how hard it is to leave a long term relationship with someone, even though it appeared unhealthy and bad to the outside world. As most of you know, I moved away from Houston. My last few nights in Houston were spent with my friend, Sherri’s former boyfriend. The entire time, it was told to me that the relationship was permanently over and it was I, in all my wisdom, who commented that such a relationship, no matter how bad it was, would not be over so easily. Of course my words were shot down, but the self-fulfilling prophecy accompanied with my statement echoes now in the present.


            Since I been away, I have turned into a Myspace whore because it is literally the only way to communicate with some of my close friends. I noticed on my friends page, Sherri’s former boyfriend, that he had changed his status to “In a relationship.” So I left a joking comment on his page which said this.


“Ut Oh, Why is ****’s status changed to “In a relationship.” Is **** in a relationship again? watch out, all hell is going to break loose!”


            Now, I didn’t know who he is in a relationship with and I didn’t care who he is in a relationship with nor do I assume who he is in a relationship with. The comment was strictly for him and no one else. Here is the good part, Sherri messaged me about the innocent comment I had left and here it is.


“b/c he’s in a relationship you fucking homo. i liked you that’s what kind of sucks. i never said a bad word about you. I don’t exactly know what your problem is but if **** is truly your friend why don’t you show some respect? if you had that question to ask – couldn’t you have messaged him? instead you had to somewhat try to embarrass me by putting it as a comment on his page. kind of insinuating that he has made a bad choice for being with me? if u had a problem with me or **** being with me – why didn’t you say something sooner? chris – you’ve really hurt my feelings.

and yes you fucking homo – this is sherri”


Wow! Simply put from my end, just wow! Hello psycho, nice to hear from you too! I guess that entire part about never saying a bad word about me has just been thrown out the window. Lets list some identifiers of craziness.


1) She is definitely paranoid because I haven’t talked to my friend since I left nor did I receive a call telling me they got back together, I don’t know, maybe my friend was embarrassed about his decision in getting back with her?


2) hmmmm? , calling me a “Fucking homo” is pretty lame these days. I mean, I guess you proved your point trying to convince us all that you were a standup girl, well maybe you didn’t.


3) Here we go again, it is all about you! This is my favorite quote in the message


“instead you had to somewhat try to embarrass me by putting it as a comment on his page.”


Let’s spend time dissecting this because it will inherently lead us to all the vices Sherri tries to hide from all of us.

                        i. “Somewhat try to embarrass me” – So what you are saying is I didn’t fully embarrass you; There is hope for you!


                        ii. “by putting it as a comment on his page” – I think we can all see the key word here is, “HIS.” Sherri, stop being a possessive bitch and stalking his Myspace page. Relax and chill, everyone in the world is not constantly thinking about you nor do they care enough to think about you while on another person’s Myspace page


                        iii. “Instead” – You act like I had choices. I just left a comment. This is fucking Myspace, not real life. I didn’t slap you in the face nor did I slap you in your eFace. Everything on the Internet is serious business, trust me 😉



4) Insinuating! That is right, as you can all tell I am the king of insinuation. I never speak my mind, I am always politically correct, and I absolutely care what everyone in the world thinks and that is why I am so shy (This sentence was sarcastic for all my Canadian readers).  Sherri, seriously, I can care less about you or your friends, but I do care about my friends. You need to shut up and know you roll!


Besides the horrible presentation, the lack of wit and the profanities, I admire this girl for sticking up for what she thinks is right. I mean, attacking someone over the Internet is just like doing it in real life right? Seriously though, I am bored and that is why I am using you as an example Sherri, but you need to realize, along with all the other crazy girls out there, that the world doesn’t revolve around you and if you truly love my friend and it works out I will support it not because I am head-over-heels about you, but because I love my friend and you need to respect that.


            Another word of advice; you might want to call me next time, because writing me a message on Myspace when I am bored as fuck will just give me material to write about. Oh yeah, here is a quote for you, “It is easy as fuck to say hello, but it takes forever to say goodbye.”


“The hottest love has the coldest end” – Socrates