How much significance does a “first kiss” have on a relationship? Think back to every person you have kissed, whether it was a bar make-out session or a normal date, and ask yourself, “How many of those people did I continue a relationship with who sucked at kissing?” The answer is probably none, which points to the hypothesis that whether you are trying to find fairy tale love or trying to get some foreplay action, the way two people kiss ultimately determines compatibility. The first kiss, or any kiss thereafter, is a physical representation of an emotional expression. If kissing sucks, then obviously a connection isn’t there. Sure the first time we ever kissed a person of the opposite sex, we were probably nervous, but the act of kissing quickly becomes inherent and unique. People usually don’t change their kiss which creates an exclusive experience with another person; a pseudo-visceral fingerprint. This allows a person who you are kissing the first time to genuinely experience a part of you that hasn’t changed over the years; you can’t fake a kiss. If the kissing is bad from the start, it’s probably going to be bad in the end, since it is nearly impossible to alter something that is fundamentally unique to all of us. If you try to continue a relationship with a bad kisser, there is a good chance you will be receiving bad kisses for the span of the relationship.
As individuals, we never view ourselves as bad kissers; in fact, I have never heard anyone admit that they were a bad kisser. This leads me to believe that kissing compatibility is not defined by bad or good, but rather the affinity of kissing “styles” of two people. If two people have agreeable styles, then they have a chance to further their relationship. If two people’s styles don’t match, then a relationship is out of contention. Kissing style can be defined as the use of lips and tongue, amount of breathes, side changes, eye mannerisms, hand placement, and pause increments during a kiss. Kissing Style Compatibility (KSC) is the tolerance and usage, as compared to your partner, of each of the variables listed above during a kiss. KSC makes kissing relative to an individual, so even though I may think someone is a bad kisser, or they think I am a bad kisser, the converse can be experienced with another partner who thinks the said kisses are great. KSC is a catalyst of fate. The way two people start their physical connection is a foretelling of how that connection will end, if it ends. Even though you may think you are an outstanding kisser, someone else might think you are terrible. Just think back on how many relationships didn’t work out in your life and examine just how many of those people might have thought you were a bad kisser (among other things). You might think the correlation between a kiss and a long lasting relationship is absurd, but if you fundamentally enjoy kissing someone, you can fundamentally enjoy being with someone, which is important for a relationship’s longevity.
Another unique characteristic of a kiss is that culturally it is used to show love and affection across the world. Across cultures, we have different ways we say hello and goodbye, but we all share the same inspiriting symbol; a kiss. A kiss is primal, suggesting that since the beginning of human history, it has been used to start connections between two people. When our world’s literature, movies, religions and music all define kissing as a symbol of love, it is hard not to recognize the importance of a first kiss in a relationship. A kiss has continually represented life and death (as seen in Disney’s Snow White and in the ending of movies like Titanic and Braveheart). This representation endorses kissing as the pinnacle trait we as humans show to express love for another.
We have talked about how kissing is centric across cultures to express affection, we have talked about how we as individuals are neither good nor bad kissers, but share kissing compatibility with others and we have talked about the first kiss being a signal for a great start in a relationship. What we haven’t mentioned is how to assess a first kiss. This part is easy. If it feels right, then it must be right. With experience, you will know what draws you closer to a person and what turns you away. The physical part of any relationship starts with a kiss, and if the kiss doesn’t work, neither will other physical components. As we get older, the simple things become less meaningless, but it is these simple things, like a kiss, that enable us to enjoy life with the right person(s). The next time you lay your lips on someone you must realize that you are giving more than just a slobbery organic tactile testament precursor to physical stimulation. You are giving the right person aoristic weal with a touch of debonair…that is, of course, if you have the right style.
…To further prove that kissing enables emotion, I once went on a date with a girl who decided to eat a ramekin of garlic at dinner. I asked her if she likes the taste of garlic and she responded “not really.” I then asked her, “Why in the world are you eating so much garlic?” She then responded “I am eating this garlic because if we have sex tonight, you won’t want to kiss me and I won’t get attached.” Needless to say, I was speechless, along with all the people who were sitting close to us in the restaurant. So if this crazy girl appreciates the value and power of a kiss, you should too. I hate using crazy girls to prove constructive points, but I couldn’t resist…