Everyone needs a plan when they go out (even if it is to have no plan). Knowing what you are getting yourself into, knowing your goals once you get into it, and seeing those goals through to the end are accomplished by design, not by chance (Well, your plan might collide with another person’s plan, so there is a bit of fate/chance involved). Most of us go out to socialize and/or meet new people, no matter their gender. Then there are some of us who go out to pick up members of the opposite (same) sex. For those whose goal is to end up with someone new on nights you go out, here are four planning tips you can use to better your chances in the nightlife scene.
Type of Bars:
The type of bar you plan to visit has a direct effect on the type of people you will meet. It goes without saying that if you end up at a bar with a heavy metal band, you will probably be surrounded by people with an abundance of tattoos and piercings. Contrary to that, if you find yourself at some smug wine bar, entertained by a concert pianist, you might have to answer what you do for a living more than you should. Fundamentally, you should pick a place you are comfortable with. If you are the type of person who uses conversation and charm to pick up people, you should choose a quiet, lounge type of venue where people can hear each other. If you are not the best conversationalist, you should pick more of a club or concert atmosphere, where conversations usually don’t take place. The type of bar you pick should represent the type of person you are, but more importantly, the bar you pick should complement your personality and pickup styles.
Positioning yourself in the right place at a bar can mean the difference between being seen and going totally unnoticed. It can also mean the difference between looking like someone interesting or a total creep. Most bars have one or two entrances. It is good to position yourself somewhere in the bar where you can see those entrances. The reason for this is so you can see all incoming and outgoing traffic at the bar. This ensures that you know the talent in the room at all times and also allows you to know when it is time to go, or when it is time to stay a bit longer. Another tactic is not positioning yourself near creepers. When people walk into a bar they immediately judge you on the company you are with, but also the company you may not be with, rather whom you are standing/sitting next to. If there is a bar full of creepers sitting down, you should position yourself in a place that doesn’t suggest you are with them and probably stand up in order to convey to the new patrons coming in that you are not associated with them. “Creeper Separation” is key to a successful night. If you are a creeper, well, then try to be less creepy than the others.
It is imperative that you know your seasons. It doesn’t matter if you are into football, fashion, music, Christmas, baseball, Cinco De Mayo, St. Patrick’s Day, Earth Day, are Jewish, are American, are Non-American, etc. Other people are into these things and when we go out, we should be aware of what is going on. Other than conversation starters, being interested in sports, holidays, and other celebrations gives you purpose when you go out. Alternatively, it gives the people at the bar purpose as well. When you go to a sports bar during football season, you can be assured that the people at the bar are 1) into football or sports, 2) are interested in people who are into football or sports. Knowing what season you are in allows you to know where to go and what to do. It will also allow you to avoid people who may not fit your standard. If you are not into runway models, avoid bars who promote fashion week. If you are not into football, or any other sports, avoid sports bars during those seasons. If it is a particular holiday, prepare your night out in accordance to that holiday. People at these types of events are more apt to like people who will play along at these events.
The time in which you show up to a bar will determine the caliber of people available to try to pick up. If you show up to a happy hour location, especially during the week, know that the after work crowd will be harder to pick up than say meeting someone at a bar, half wasted at 1am on a Wednesday night. If you are interested in picking up a professional, happy hour locations are the place to go to meet people. If you are interested in someone easy and fun, late night, weekday excursions to a bar might be rewarding. Another variable that should be noted is the “Alcohol Factor.” You don’t want “wasted” time by talking to someone who is obliterated at a bar, unless you want to dodge puke. Alternatively, you don’t want to meet a completely sober person while you have had a lot drinks. The time in which you decide to go out will help in identifying the “shift changes” of people who are currently out, about to go out, or are leaving. “Shift changes” can vary from the jobless day drinker, to the after work happy hour crowd, to the going out to dinner groups, to the nightcap pursuer, and to the every night, late night club goer. Depending on the person you want to pick up, you should understand how the time in which you go out plays into the type of people you will encounter.