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The 4 Inch Rule

September 27, 2010 | | Comments 0

4inchrule

                …I love fashion.  No, I revel in loving fashion.  It is hard to believe that fashion absorbs some of the biggest and most powerful corporations in the world.  So much work, money, and time go into convincing the populous that one piece of fabric is better than another piece of fabric.  Artists, designers, musicians, stylists, cosmetologists, directors, choreographers, and photographers are just some of the talented professions needed to fabricate this Brobdingnagian industry.  It is also hard to believe that all this skill and talent is funneled at the concept of superficial beauty.  It is sad that a billion dollar industry has been using the same tall, thin, emotionless, cutout to showcase creative designs, when the talented few who produce the designs share opposite personalities. The stereotypical model is someone who bases their existence on how they look, whereas the people who contrive purpose for the model, base their existence on what they create; my agog for fashion stops with the conventional model…

            Is there a special, unwritten set of rules that confines pretentiousness to a set of physical boundaries? The answer is yes, and one of those rules is “the 4 inch rule.”

               Identify four inches… I don’t care how you do it; measuring stick, ruler, range finder, surveying equipment, or just try to eye ball it.  To help those who are unsuccessful at doing what I have asked, four inches is approximately the size of most smart phones, most digital cameras, or the width of your hand. After you have identified what four inches looks like (and after you get your mind out the gutter) we can all agree that four inches isn’t that big (is your mind still in the gutter?). Four inches may not be big relative to most things, but in reference to someone’s height, it is huge.  The purpose for identifying four inches is that it is the length of how much taller a female can be, while wearing three inch heels, than her significant other. Some of you have already done the math and realized that without the heels, a woman cannot be more than an inch taller than her significant other unless she wants to break the rule.  Some of you are also probably wondering why it isn’t called “the one inch rule?” Well, in honor of fashion week, in honor of making people think sexual innuendos, in honor of the 6’1’’ model wearing three inch heels, and in honor of the 5’7’’ rich guy around “her” arm, we call it “the four inch rule” to modify the shallowness of the model on a scale of 1 to 10 and the probable size of the man’s (insert mind in gutter thought here).

                There are very few women on this planet who wish for a shorter guy to sweep them off of their feet.  In fact, the only women I have ever seen with a shorter guy are models.  And why are models with shorter guys?  Pretentiousness.  I can’t even begin to understand the sexual mechanics of breaking “the four inch rule” much less everyday tasks like, talking, dancing, spooning, showering, and eating.  Breaking “the 4 inch rule” in any size relationship will end in dissolution.  When a relationship is based on status and money, it will fail.  It is one thing to be paid for your looks; it is another to be paid for your looks while pretending to like someone shorter than you; absolute ostentatious charity.  Fashion enables beauty and expression; models disable that beauty and expression by quantifying and objectifying it.  I love the creativity of fashion, but despise depthless people who try to gain esteem one inch at a time.

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