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The Age of Ass

November 25, 2014 | | Comments 0

ageofass

We have finally made it and we have come a long way to get here…

 

…A long way from the philosophies of antiquity, where men challenged the fabric of (un)known realities. A time when science and religion surged at the minds of the world, tempering the foundation of what we know today. Socrates once said, “Wisdom begins in wonder” and it was that wonder which gave our ancestors the motivation to uncover mysteries once thought to be held only by the gods. For this brought upon the world a “Golden Age” of humanity, revealing what makes up the basis of all the arts, sciences and philosophies of our time.

 

…A long way from the Renaissance, where some claim human achievements in the arts will never be surpassed. Where great structures symbolizing embolden architecture, resurrected themselves on the backs of vison and courage. A time when literature spread through the populous, inspiring futures. Kings and Queens and Empires fought for glory, accelerating the advancement of technologies, capturing influence and leading our world to an “Age of Enlightenment,” hurling human progress forward in the sciences, medicine and humanities.

 

…A long way from giant columns spewing smoke as mass production of everything filled cites. A world where interchangeable parts allowed economies and markets to be born. Eli Whitney stated before The United States Congress, “One of my primary objects is to form the tools so the tools themselves shall fashion the work and give to every part it’s just proportion” setting the stage for manufactured parts, allowing the populous, for the first time the ability to purchase high end goods at a reasonable barter leading humanity into the “Industrial Age” or the “Age of Revolution.”

 

…A long way from the design of global communication. It was a dream of just a few men to one day live in a world where every human can be connected to another by means of electronic device, computer or gadget. The “Information Age” spawned by the advancement of computing technologies and has led our civilization to its current height of everything. Anything and everything known or discovered is immediately shared and expounded upon through means of the Internet.

 

Until…

 

The Internet Breaks.

 

…Here we are, at the breaking of the Internet. An age never thought to come. An age where marvels upon marvels, much like what was listed in the former, have taken up a role of less importance, replaced with depthless instruction and stupidity, offering digression and halting the advancement of our human journey.

 

The breaking of the Internet, the end of our journey for knowledge, we have now entered into the “Age of Ass’.

 

I am an Ass Man, That will be my preface. But(t), being an Ass Man doesn’t allow me to side with the promotion of “Ass” to replace all other things. No, it has been a long journey down this road. Cultures have revered every, single part of human anatomy throughout age after age and it is only fitting, now at our final hour that the part of the human body which parallels our falling, is the ‘Ass,’ otherwise known as the buttocks, gluteus maximus, booty, fat back, arse, bun, caboose, money maker, pooper, rear, rump, tush, etc.

It’s truly a comedic ending indeed.

If you have read this far and have failed to pick up on what I am alluding to, allow me to briefly summarize. In November of 2014, the month this article was written, the world stopped thinking. An explosion of stupidity beyond anything we have seen surged through the Internet in the form of a ‘Rich Woman Pseudo Celebrity’ showing off her gigantic, naked ass. And let’s put things in perspective; especially if you think it is a bit out of line to assume the world went brain dead promoting such an image. Here is the reality: During the same time this picture was released, humans launched a rocket into space, landed it on a comet traveling 40,000 miles per hour, discovered organic life, and continue to discover more and more about science and the universe, impacting all of humanity. Yet, this took a back seat to a picture of a woman’s bare ass. That is our current reality. And you should be sad about it.

Granted, her ass is the size of comet, but…

We landed a fucking unmanned vehicle on a celestial object flying 40,000 miles per hour…

And to make our digression even worse, there was more media coverage of the feminist outrage against a scientist’s dominatrix caricature long sleeved shirt, than there was of the fact that he was responsible for the greatest feat/discovery of modern human history. So here we are, 2014 at our civilization’s mental plateau. We care more about a bare ass, which everyone has, then the single most important achievement accomplished outside our earth, something until now, only Hollywood captured. We care more about feelings and notions of equality and privilege and what is offensive and not offensive, than we do advancing our species to the next meaningful age.

We have entered the ‘Age of Ass’ because we are all asses for letting an ass hold us back. Let’s not put what’s really important to the rear of human exchange. It is time to bring the pursuit of real knowledge and discovery from the tail of priority, and in doing that, leave no human behind.

 

 

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