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Seriously? Serious Relationships

November 27, 2012 | | Comments 1

There are quite a few people who don’t know the proper precursors of claiming and maintaining a “serious” relationship.  When you label a relationship as “serious” and throw around words like love and marriage and soul mate and “happily ever after”, there are certain criteria that go along with claiming such titles and attributes.  Below are a few scenarios that emphasize when a relationship is not that serious.  Below each scenario is commentary relaying proper etiquette as it pertains to how one should act while claiming a serious relationship.  Chances are if you don’t agree with the commentary, you seriously might not be ready for a serious relationship.

 

You are probably not in a serious relationship when… The person you are with never introduces you to his/her friends.

*The public acknowledgement of any serious relationship is fundamental; even marriages have witnesses.  To truly be in a serious relationship, friends in both people’s lives must be a part of it in some form or another.  Even if your friends don’t like the person you are dating and vice versa, it acknowledges that there is substance and it is that substance that builds reality for the love a serious relationship carries.*  

 

You are probably not in a serious relationship when… The person you are with never takes you out in public, yet when not with you, goes out all the time.

*Relationships should be about experiencing the world together.  All relationships share their ups and downs, but you have to experience those ups and downs together in order for the relationship to grow.  If one person sits out, or if a person is told to sit out, the foundation of togetherness will start to crack.  Being proud of the one you want to share life with has a direct correlation of how much love and respect you have for them.*

 

You are probably not in a serious relationship when… The person you are with never introduces you to his/her family.

*If you are thinking about marriage or having kids or moving in together, it is probably a good idea for your significant other to have some sort of relationship or communication outlet with your family.  The extension of one’s family to include your significant other’s family is sometimes a tough process, but it is a must in taking the next step when furthering a relationship.*

 

You are probably not in a serious relationship when… The person you are with vacations or travels somewhere without telling you.

*The person you love should know your life’s itinerary and vice versa.  One of the principles of love is protection.  Knowing where the person you love is, how long they will be there, what cities they are traveling, what airports they are flying into, what hotels they are staying at, allows for the assurance that if something negative does happen (like the zombie apocalypse) you at least know where to start looking.*

 

You are probably not in a serious relationship when… The person you are with disappears without explanation for a certain period of time.

*Communication is key to a thriving relationship.  Truth will always surface.  A serious relationship’s foundation is truth.  Being accountable at all times as a partner in a serious relationship is a must for that relationship’s survival.*

 

You are probably not in a serious relationship when… The person you are with doesn’t post pictures of both of you on their social media pages.

*In today’s world, social media is a huge part of our lives.  When your significant other includes you into their social media it is a proclamation of how serious they are about you.  Claiming one in front of close friends is one thing, but claiming one in front of close friends, acquaintances, family, enemies, “frienemies” and people from the past says a whole lot more. *

 

You are probably not in a serious relationship when… The person you are with always has to get drunk in order to be intimate with you.

*Intimacy separates the different stages of relationships.  When a person willingly wants to share themselves, it is one of the highest gestures of love.*  

 

You are probably not in a serious relationship when… The person you are with never communicates or returns calls/text for the majority of the day.

*You don’t ignore the people you love.  When loved ones reach out, it is your duty to reach back.  Serious relationships require correspondence to survive.  In the present day, there is no excuse with the technology available not to be in constant communication with one another.*

 

You are probably not in a serious relationship when… The person you are with doesn’t celebrate holidays with you.

*Celebrating the holidays with the one you love creates memories which are etched in time.  Making an asserted effort to spend special occasions and Holidays together signifies that a person may want to have a future together.  Holidays are points in our life when we remember who we are with.  If you choose to spend a holiday with someone, you are making a choice to remember that person. *

 

You are probably not in a serious relationship when… The person you are with consistently makes empty promises.

*Devoting your life to someone else is the ultimate self-sacrifice.  Fulfilling commitments with your significant other allows you to express how much you love him/her, no matter the cost to your own life.  Giving your word and following through with what you promise will help mature a relationship.*

 

You are probably not in a serious relationship when… The person you are with communicates with exes more then they communicate with you.

*Committing to one person for the rest of your life will require you to relinquish all other ties with past relationships.  There are some few exceptions to this, but in order for any relationship to grow and flourish, it has to be free of baggage and doubt.*

 

You are probably not in a serious relationship when… The person you are with chooses you last.

*The fundamental definition of a serious relationship is when the person you are with chooses you first.  Whether it is friends, family, or activities the person you want to spend the rest of your life with should always come first in order to forge a stable union.  When both people agree to this mantra, and choose to put the other before self, the relationship will be unstoppable.*

 

You either want something to last forever or you don’t.  As soon as you start second guessing your choices in a relationship it is time to go.  The idea that you need more time to figure things out after an already long period of time is just postponing the inevitable.  Of course, if you are in your early twenties, this time extension is necessary.  But for people in their late twenties, mid-thirties and beyond, follow this simple piece of advice… If you don’t know what you want, then don’t waste other people’s time trying to figure it out.  If you want to be in love, if you want children, if you want a life with someone, and you tell your significant other these things, but you don’t want to take the next steps to accomplish these goals, then there is probably no amount of time or event that could pass by to make you come around; except maybe, desperation… It is at this point when we must ask ourselves, “seriously?” I thought we were in a serious relationship…

 

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  1. Wiggles says:

    Good read! I thoroughly enjoyed and appreciated the basic and observatory logic employed by the writer.

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