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Claim Me, If You Can!

June 23, 2011 | | Comments 4

claimmeifyoucan

Women of the world, I am on to you.  I was once jejune, believing that the women I date foist flighty comments of possession around other girls because they were trying to give me subtle hints of affection.  Phrases like “Remember last week when we were watching that movie together,” or “Are you going to dance with me tonight like you promised,” or “Are we still going out to eat tomorrow” will now fall on deaf ears when such diction is said around other females.  I was even more naive believing that the women I date leave their personal effects around my home as to make a gesture of faith toward our relationship; usually when a woman leaves something valuable somewhere she will circle back and recover it, deriving that the said woman may want to see me again.  Then the epiphany hit me.  The women I date don’t do or say any of this for me; they do it to alert other women of their existence and try to stake claim to me…

Whose panties are these?  Whose t-shirt is this?  Whose make-up is that?  Why are there tampon wrappers in your trash?  Who have you been seeing besides me!!?  As a man, if you are foolish enough not to check for basic items women may leave behind or do a yarely sweep of your home after a woman leaves, then having those items discovered by other women is on you.  One of the fundamental differences between men and women is how we lay claim to someone we like, we love or who we date.  Aside from the overly jealous male asshole, men usually leave little trace of their relationship with someone they are dating.  Contrary to men, women love marking their territory and, as I stated before, they don’t do it for male adoration.  Finding the obvious items women leave only scratches the surface and other women know this.  Once you find an item you have to move it, hide it or throw it away and chances are you are not going to dispose of it if you have any interest in seeing the woman the item belongs to again.  So your options are to hide it or move it.  Have you ever wondered why women get cold or want to borrow clothes while over your house?  It’s not because of the temperature or lack of wardrobe, it is because they love asking you to borrow socks or shirts or shorts so they can quickly investigate your drawers and closets; the typical places to hide the other girl’s items.  Discovering the obvious isn’t what women look for.  When a woman finds an object like a t-shirt or panties that should have been better concealed by the guy, she is more mad that the guy allowed her to find it than the discovery of another women.  Whether you believe it or not, women go beyond purposely leaving panties and conclusive items at guy’s homes. Women leave cryptic signs and symbols around guy’s homes that go almost unnoticed by guys’ altogether.  The cryptic items are elements of things only women know about.  These cryptic items are known as Personal Effect Elements or P.E.E. for short.

As a man, if you have a woman’s P.E.E. in your home, there is a strong likelihood that the other girls you are dating know about her.  Some examples of P.E.E. that may go unnoticed to most guys are earing backings, hair on the floor and in the shower, make-up smudges on mirrors and towels, perfume scent on pillows, and the list of these subtle, cryptic items go on and on.  The main difference between a girl finding a pair of panties and P.E.E. is that she may or may not question you about the P.E.E.  Instead she will leave her own P.E.E. around your house and if the other girl is still in the picture, the territory mark will be received and countered until one girl gives in and approaches the man.  Guys, when is the last time you checked the side of the bed your women usually sleep on or the side of the couch they sit on while watching TV?  Chances are, not that often.  There is tons of women’s P.E.E. in these areas.  Smell your pillows, remind you of something?  Guess what? You don’t have long brunette or blonde hair so you might want to clean that up.  Oh yeah, that shiny metal thing isn’t a gold nugget or your calcified awesomeness, it is a cheap earing backer which is easily left behind, but priceless when another woman finds it.  The amount of P.E.E. women leave varies on the type and seriousness of the relationship; a woman who is married is going to have a bigger P.E.E. signature in a man’s residence than a woman who is just dating him. Guys, it is time to do some cleaning.  I know you think you found everything, but you didn’t.  Women are smart and their P.E.E. is bold and ready to be spread all over you and your home. Guys, my advice is next time you find some P.E.E., clean it up, and launch her P.E.E. back at her. Let her know that you are on to her and that you can’t be claimed that easily!

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